So its June and shit. Lord have these days just been flying. Home from NHS inductions. Stomach is a little shook but other than that and a load of hot gooey wax on everyone's hands I think we are all good. Felt a little more confident about my friend situation knowing i knew atleast half of my fellow inductees. However I knew but all of like 3 or 4 of the seniors. Oh well. Days away from the big ultimate tournament. 2 days left to get seniors to sign yearbooks. Im so crying Thursday. What joy. Not in the mood to make these entries be what I want them to be yet. So this is just for a filler when the new site is created. All the info on this site will be updated then x'fered over to a newer layout once I choose one. Booya. Love you kids - ry
MAY
May 4 04
Ive been thinking for the past month. Of what I might do here or wherever I go that I create imaginatively or figuratively on the www... but little have I remembered about the fabolously and tremendously thought provoking things Id like to place here. And time and time again I find myself in this lingo.. at midnight.. wishing I could just remember.. to remember.
For those no ones and never evers out there who dont know already, my life has been whole heartedly and selfishly consumed and disgraced by AP tests, SOLs, SAT and college prep that Ive lost all sense and desire to make myself sound so incredibly average.
Just for years later when i look back, with just a lil nudge i have propelled myself on my father's nuke rocket of a research machine and ive now come haltingly close to smashing into one college or another by absorbing incredibly large quantities of numbers and statistics. Namely ones near Marisa.. Swarthmore and Harverford and U Of Penn and some others. My dad wants me to start with 5 or 6 and maybe go up to near 13. What a waste of admissions if it takes me that long to find a school. Hopefully I will find a decent first pick and they will take me.
I think ive lost my friendships mentally. O they're there.. they just no longer affect my mood day to day.. so im thinking that is something to be terribly concerned with...
A final note since I have years to write and hours to sleep.. I do plan to take this whole education thing seriously as soon as testing is over. I am going to refocus my life and my time and try to get as much going for me by next fall. Hopefully this includes volunteering at atleast one or maybe two daycares.. while maintaining decent hours at FF. It was just a thought.. and then I saw some today at the baptist church and I didnt want to leave (nor did i want to approach and scare their supervisor)
Marisa has got my heart and mind and even though shes incredibly sick of hearing it I really do long to be with her. :)
Why south God.. why did I MOVE south.. if this is it then why here and where are you? - ryan
APRIL
Apr 6 04
You defend his concerns and weep in his shadows. He will forever exploit your every effort if you're forever unsound with yourself.
Music : Xerxes << that dude or group or whoever.. is not human.
Marisa is coming in 17 days! YIPPEE!.. we need to talk btw about what were doing. but i guess we will do that as Jennifer goes home tmrw (no i havent changed my vote from camille) .. just wishful thinking. hehe.
Calculus makes sense for a change. Im striving to recover an A in there.
AUTOCad will be the death of me. Even though i have a perfect A+ in there.
APCompSci is taking it easy and i still love it deeply.
AdvAmStud is pretty average.. regular.. repetitive.. but intriguing enough not to dislike
Ryan is now a one-star employee at Farm Fresh.. I mean noone else really has more than one.. so I guess that is just saying "Please dont quit come June!" Well ha. Ive decided not to quit unless I find a good job paying over 7 dollars an hour. Anything less wont be made up for in gas money that I save working at FF.
Im reading the Great Gatsby in English. Honestly.. I have mixed motions.. but it is a very easy read, an enchanted one at that. I think I will fall in love with it by the end of the story. And its one of those that your thinking all along, I so wanna read this more than once. Fitz has numerous standalone comments to consider on every page. And he is true to himself, making him a very intriguing, genuine writer.
My short story "Pillows" is near completion. One spastic writing spree and I will have it complete. I edit things to and from it daily. I just can't wait to make it whole. Its a jumble of emotions I experience.. and its really meant to just pass a line or two to the reader, and not every statement I make. Atleast Im hoping someone catches on to the basic setup.. or I will have to reconstruct that. It is crucial to the 2nd part.
Marisa.. I have nothing more to add other than I love you and cant wait to see you and Gomez looking purty in a couple weeks.
-ry
MARCH
Mar 25 04
Darling, If only.. You would Take this Medicine for Tomorrow's Sake.
Love programming. Hate CAD. Sleep into english. Strive for being awake on calculus.
Lunch was.. good. But not in the good i wished it to be. Lets see some motivation mr motivator. - Ry
Mar 24 04
Pure as Eyes and Pens can be. Its on a ever-luscent trend. Here Comes the Sunshine Darling. Dont Cover the Paper now.. Make it Shine.
These days.. school wise.. are losing their luster. I just need some smiles now to carryon or im in for it deeply.
Week and a half til kairos theme team! woo! go beatles!
Can water cause heartburn.. or just a common unsettling of the stomach. Because by all means I have experienced both.
Nonetheless Im loving my water. Its starting to become meaningful. I guess in 40 years I'll be glad i dont hurt twice as bad as I will :)
Tomorrow will be another turnaround day. Hopefully I can finish my story then. Hopefully. :) - Ry
Mar 22 04
Disatisfaction in the Morning Stew of Cotton Heaps. I Try to Defend, but Im Just Destined to Despise of Today.
Mood - Stellar and Sore
Music - Kinks -> Sunny Afternoon
Come on and get your kicks darling.. its MONDAY!. woo ultimate.. even tho it was miserable and my arm hurts like the shadows hurt the complexion.
CAD and compsci were bitterly boring. AAS was a heap of movie. Definitely cool, and AP Calc is going to slowly become the worst class of the day. I can just see it.
So tomorrow is a day of .. personal reform. Im liberating my desires and disposing of the quirks. Im quitting soda and all my crazy indulgences in unhealthy foods. Im going for what I want. And im not holding back my words or passions for the immediate concerns of others. Knowing myself.. I will not completely do as I want to regardless, and in time will I not find a median between how far i should take this new methodology? Won't I come across another sunny afternoon, and just be devoured amongst what is 'right'?
Ry
Mar 21 04
And if worlds arent the world for you darling, I'll take you home.
Its only like what? 2 weeks til my nightover in Charlottesville! woo. that will be a blast.
Got home after a 3 hour rambling of narcissistic church members. what a love match, ha. my oh my was I going to scream if one more personed gloomed in the spotlight of their lil granddaughter goes here and how its so much better than any other.
Walmart -> got a cd case, some gummybears that have become a pile of blob in a car-boiled circumstance, and some hersheys swoop that have been devoured save a few.
Brendan works alone today for the majority so i went and brought him some swedish fishies. swedish fishies make the world smile. I swear they do. Subway arbys and swedish fish can last me a season or two.
Anywho. my subconciously renewed warcraftIII addiction has me awake til 230. I need to draw. Oh and myself, the art community of the world, and all warcraftiii/blizzard entertainment fans and staff in general are mourning a great loss. 19 year old prodigy, and brother to another great mind.. Michel Koiter passed away. I never personally associated with him. but belonging to one of the online art communities him and his brother rene participated in stills brings a great sorrow to mind. Honestly one of the most successfully talented people yet, and he didnt get to see 20. All in a matter of two days.. - crush -
chudds
Mar 5 04
Founded on a whispered word; Wade for weeks to come.
I dont really recall a whole lot of days past. A story here and there from work or in class but a lot of it has seemingly been half-comings. Never quite meets my expectations. Some hollowing of my best wishes.. its always a miss. But i can smell the breeze of a hit. Its coming. No doubt will i indulge in it. I so long to be uberly excited again.
Today I worked; Hours of rain and breeze; Beauty vs Disaster; Utterly Synthesizing vs. Dreadful Reminders Fast.
Went to PHMall alone. Zoned through the loudest lights and swiftest, most insanely immature of words. Indulged in a 12 inch, succulent turkey sub and moved on outta there. I had enough of some many people looking in the wrong places for acceptance. Its just sickening. And i was'nt doing that swell myself.
My legs are aching - way too much spasmic activity after Friday's gorgeous ultimate game.
The weather sides with my tude lately.. It must be planning to be gorgeous and 6 next week. I think the weatherman may need some serious influencing if it isn't.
Im dying to find an artistic groove again. Its yearning to be expanded. We're only a stumble and a look-up into an infinitely growing realm of imaginary organisms.. and design... and this is far too.. complex.. to explain the way a groove feels... it is fulfilling and just as much opening at the same time. it is the healthiest way to do absolutely nothing to your longing desires but still have a more steadfast heart and a deeper concern for everything that consumes you.
- chudds - thinking of that olleh
Mar 2 04
Dear Instiction,
Visions Glaring Northward
Contact at Last;
Just Accept,
For my Fullfillment..
For my Selfishness,
My Adoration.
From Osmosis.
I hardly know why I havent posted in days past. I think im dying wednesday. Now we can whine cough and bark together.. as long as your still on that page. THE BEATLES MANIA! !#@(*(!#@ AH I swear mr dave delaney. Youve corrupted my tastes again, for the better.
Speaking of music. GUILT SHOW BY THE GET UP KIDS!!! WOO!!! AMAZING!~ and i got jet's cd too. few goodies on there. havent picked my fave tguk songs quite yet tho. we'll see
Lets play RECAP! Woo. Okay thats enough of silly Chudds.
Saturday was a gorgeous day to be out and enjoying places. Even tho I spent nearly 4-6 hours driving. I was outside with what is going to become my closest family. And getting to meet them was so marvelous and heartfelt.. I miss that day like nothing else. One of the best ever for me. I cant wait for kairos. Its just not close enough.
I spent the remainder of that night semi socializing with family. Most of family left by the next day or so. Sunday i worked for 7 hours and it wasn't very amusing in the least. I do feel better about talking to Mike.. but other than that my choice of friends to hang around intentionally had definately changed.
Today.. (did i actually use the word enquire in the previous entry? whoa.. subconciously adding to my vocabulary. how marvelous)
Today I awoke alright.. a lil sore and lacking of sleep but It was still a beatifully comfortable morning. I felt very me and theres not much thats more satiating or healthy in the mornings progressions of thoughts opinions and decisions. CAD is going good and fast. And similar to Compsci, im sorta ahead of a lot of people and it just makes my day half as easy. In english i shared swedish fish and sour patch kids with susan jon brendan brynn and teddy. in calc we sat and went over things but that class is entirely too silly to allow my mind to learn anything. i really need to focus in there soon or i might start to see consequences.
To Ashby, Brittany, Evan, Niki, Teresa, and Tim - I love you all and may God bless. I cant wait for April 2nd and all future times together! WOO!
- chudds adores you
FEBRUARY
Feb 28 04
I Have Your Crystal It Writes. I, Dazed, Giggle to Softer Grounds. My Mind Rolls Gently Back and Your Smile Comes Into View. O Darling, Say Im not behind This Deception; Tell me We've Got More Spring Mornings to Gloat Amongst Our Eyes and Hearts.
So Monday, or so. maybe it was earlier than that. I dont really remember. The scariest moment of my life - holy.. !
So here it is. Im walking innocently towards the recycling containers. Intent on recycling some defective/stubbornass bags and be a good lil conservatist. Then suddenly, im grabbed by the arm. A man no taller than 5 5 with dark skin appearing middle eastern has stopped me. and then quickly leads me forward at a cheetah's pace towards the back of the store. "You, sir. You. You show me where uh, where uh, where beans are. You show me where beans are. Show me now. You show me where beans are, take me there, take me now." What kind of beans? canned beans? i enquire. "No! no canned beans. i want dry beans. none of your fucking canned beans. regular dry beans." Im panicking. walking sooo fast, and sweating, i turn towards produce without a clue in the world. So then.. um.. they would be in produce. eh? "Hell if i know where they would be. You fucking work here." Im just a bagger sir. I can get someone that will.. "Oh I dont give a fuck who can help me. You work here damnit you should know where the fucking beans are." Sometime goes by. well a whole 3 seconds and weve done all this walking.. it was so incredibly fast paced and heart racing. I wouldve left him then but fearful he would detonate himself or pull a weapon on me I was like Umm sir i honestly dont think i kn.."Your fucking useless kid.. I.." Wait! I know what this guy means! Beans in a bag! Here sir i know what you mean. My heart begins to slow "Your crazy kid. If you dont fucking find these beans im gonna complain. im gonna find your managers and raise hell. i'll explode. i'll blow the store up. i'll raise holy hell." Here they are sir. "Ah! Your a good boy"...
*******************************************
Go ahead ignore me darling. Id like to see where your snobbiness has gotten you in a years time. The many luxurious roads it has led you down. The brilliant people you've met in the shroud of other's smoke. Go ahead. Do what you want. Your older, you must know what's best.
*******************************************
I dont recall a whole lot since. Someone ransomed my crystal! ahh!
And this darling super awesome pal of mine brought me an apple cinnamon nutrigrain bar today! i was so excited. I was real hungry too. o my. what joy.
I had to get ready in under 2 minutes this morning. i mustve looked rough all day. but by Monday, i promise, my darling Wednesday, i will smell better. even though my breath is already better than yours. psycho.
Bro and g/f here tonight! ah! leaving tomorrow to be a planner for ambassadors of christ! ahh so intense. I hope that is fun like I expect it to be. atleast we can make it fun! and umm cousins come tomorrow. Im so .. woo! i dunno. adios - chudds loves you all! especially you lil billy! you sassy mofo! shut up chudds! your quacked!
Feb 21 04
This is a Three Fry Attack; One Crumbles before it Reaches Epiphany.
Late at work last evening. I amassed an entire sixteen dollars in tips. Which is quite the crazy. I dont recall a lot beyond that. Merely a single sketch before it reached two and I feel to a dreamless sleep at a peak of wishful thinking.
Today its been as if i am eternally exhausted. I woke to get a change of shirt before I resumed my slumber again in car heading northward.. all amongst way too much pity fits and pouting. I wished he would just learn to get over it.
As we were going along, I was in a halfdaze indulging in a single Swedish Fish. Splitting it to bits with my tongue my mind roaming on nothing but the small focus required in the consumption. Red lights glaring. My mother lets out a moan and the car veers gently left. I'm thrown forward into a horde of screeching machines; two sideways; facing towards the center line. The machine in rear fishtails mother and we collide with the blazing white SUV to the left. I lose conciousness as the left rear tire springs as if the ground had opened up and let out a mighty discharge. We roll in a maelstrom of rubbish. The screeching - a monotonous, sorrowful, dying trill. The loss of everything in spin of the world. And then I awoke.
And for the worse - I'm far past optimistic. I only hope theres some honesty in the vision. - Ryry
Feb 19 04
Meditate; Mediate; Satiate; But Devour any Doubt that I can't make You Smile
So it quite has been a while since my last. Yet on every turnaround day I must write. Things are just flowing uncaptured from my mind left right and somewhere just past left field.. It kills me to think its vanishing. It's Whitman's worst nightmare. Lying and daydreaming the most marvelous of conceptions to only be eaten alive by the glaring fact that you are leaving nothing behind to save your soul from morality.
So of all the stories I thought of sharing I can only recall one from today. I went to Walmart.. nearly dead. Or even practically was it dead minus the hollering and bickering and life wasting in the parking lot between several groups of vagabonds probably interested in nothing more than a few smokes. It was an annoyance enough.. and a threat in our lately heightened paranoia(*cough* school bom.. i mean butt threat), that I picked up my pace a bit, emphasizing that silly girlish gait i have picked up since I started playing Ultimate. What a silly sport. What are you thinking Chudds? Anywho.. that wasn't the story.
So there I am in line.. just beyond several folks I couldnt see around even if I had taken three steps to one side or the other. When I did advance in the queue however, I began to wish I was elsewhere. There was the cashier.. caressing.. her register. With both hands. What Yuck. I stood no less than a yard from the counter only crossing for the exchange of currency.. such revolting currency it is.
Being the overachiever I am as of late, I have nothing to do in two of my classes tomorrow. What a focuser. So I'm writing my immigration essay en el bus and then Calculus BC is merely a quiz to tango with. Nothing I shouldnt be able to strangle to a heartless, sorrowful, soil given time.
Finally I sketched a quarter of a page tonight. But taking those 20 minutes and seeing what I had insisted I could create all along was more magnificent than anything before in my drawing experiences.. I am some how by osmosis and observation learning to draw better with very little practice. Boy can I not wait til I decide to draw daily again. Smiles for better Suns... for as Whitman says.. there is only one Earth to cherish and enhance. - hemyart is here for the inclusion - Chudds
P.S. : My nephew was in the Emergency room.. hospital.. and a su casa once again. So scary.. so sad. So pitiful.. I just wish there was better everyday circumstances for my sis' family. They do so much and get so much random wrong done in return. And I pray consistently, and moreso now, that my sister remains healthy and is restored to the wonderful person she was before her heart and soul were tried so harshly.. I love you
Feb 11 04
For our Painful Fragmentation in No Way Deserves to Estrange the Brilliance Betwixt your Grin and that of my own Affection
Listening to : Jaia - After the Rain; Red Lines - Myelin Year; Waktu Loopa - Indianshoota; helge krabye - china bamboo dream; Madonna - Nobody's Perfect(xerxes remix)
(Note: I didn't choose these songs necessarily. Just what came up on a live Chillout/Ambient/Psy stream.)
My patterns awake were smoother this morning and was in no rush to complete excess homework of anything of the like. Instead of dwindling on sorrows as in days past my mind was nestled upon innovation and conceptualism.. hardly the fabrication of daydreamic utopias that I indulge in.
Sometimes your ego will slap you in the face. Thank god the I have also had the gift to realize it when it does cause I certainly hope im humbled by it. Some people are just too good with CDAD that it disturbs me. Oh well.. 'Maybe it's just me and im venting.'
Mentioning the Almighty.. no not the Zach Hughes Almighty... the originator of the Almighty goodness... As of last night 5 of the 7 youth have been chosen, i being one, for Kairos PG. I am certainly anx'ed to be part of that no matter the weekend it comes up on.
Hated second.. almost hated 3rd block as much if it wasn't for us literally having any freedom of being at home. Test in Calculus.. quite more difficult than I was expecting.. though still plenty of time for serious redemption. Maybe I'm underestimating the difficulty? Did I fall over to get back up an optimist.. truly? Cause I thought it was just wishful thinking for a while..... - chudds
Feb 10 04
Apparitions Enclave my Yearnings; Some Hostile and Perplexed for the Better Management of their Guise is Dwindling; Others are Merely a Softened Essence.. of Titian.. Memories...
45 Past the first awakening and I rush to dress in a panic knowing no other was there to wake me in warning. Unaware of the marginal future ahead I was prepped just in time to complete my History and move on with my life.
I roam to no avail and land finishing CDAD work. Still on task in there and not having a terrible time, so all is appreciated given there could be much worse circumstances.
My 10 minutes were given to nothing but small chat and harassment of Zack Almighty on his wardrobe. Regardless if he deserves some treatment he will always make you smile for the good or bad of the discussion.. he will find the irony.
Got down and dirty with Jcreator and finally did some work in apcompsci. I am a little antagonist to fall back in love with programming.. being the creator for the viewer has always been my passion in some form or other. Is it so wrong to avoid doing it in this medium even if I enjoy it?
Calculus was amusing and goodhearted and definately an ease of stress from what you would expect by course description. Ive got a feeling not much is gonna change about my perspective of that class throughout the semester so I guess my reportings of it will merely involve the best moments of the block.. sad that we go to math in last efforts to find a smile somedays.. but if thats what it takes to find someone reasonable..
Stayed after for no reason but to be picked up.. quite a waste or words and energy if you ask me. But had a friendly discussion with Dani the girl and only swore once so.. :) Braces went smoothly and my afternoon was fairly bleh beyond that. Talking to my old friends.. the best.. and the refound ones.. has never been so enlightening and comforting.. thank you - chudds
Feb 9 04
Ender, How the Soul is Mollified seeing your Tangerine Glow. I smile and Thank You for it.
Today.. I woke to 7 Tyson Chicken nuggets and a cool refreshing splash of hunts bbq sauce. It always seems so morally wrong digging into chicken before the sun even rises.
CDAD went smoothly. All this computer stuff is quickly reiterating my old passion to think I wanted to sit behind a screen all day and type. Not really.. I also think this computer drawing brings the design element from my art skills to the surface and im just dying to grab hold of my designish style.
Eng was regular, seperated.. feel like Im losing some of my better friends.. their kindness sucked me in.. but their ways are just bad and not where I truly want to be in four years. I cant see hanging around them becoming beneficial to where im going.. but maybe its best to start over new again with lots of things cause right now its honestly looking glowy where im going. That's so ignorant Chudds.. but I never asked to move here.
Went to first lunch. Spoke with Nick, Cath, Jesse, Tim, Sarah and others. My first time in first was pretty cool. Theres certainly more room than spoken of. I think i'll stick around there for now.. keeping in theme with the paragraph above. .. 5 Minutes later.. yea im definitely(not definately.. learned that today) going there tomorrow.
Compsci was more of the same and CalcBC was nothing to be reckoned with. Progressed onto the home of the best lesbians in the state.. or the field hockey field. Some people came and went.. some people that stayed were real smart cuz it was a nice breezy game of ultimate.. not filled with many highlights. But theres certainly few things more relaxing that running and intercepting something of chosen destiny. Its like meeting someone new. You just inadvertently altered a million things in an instant... without the thought of doing a thing.
Work was work.. nothing too wholy amusing to share.. Atleast not without losing an appetite. I certainly wouldnt want that to happen when i return tomorrow to see what crazy thing i fabricated in the midst of my resurrection, my most recent turnaround, my newest vulnerability.. Ode to my new light.. please dont take me by thin threads alone. - chudds
Feb 4 04
Leniance grab on; Our bounds are only differing; Soon enough gravity will reposess the tenure of your dictum essent; And then my darling deceptor.. You shall be limited by the only differing bounds.
Woke to large bowl of Rice Chek.. is it legal to say chek instead of chex if your going to pretend you talk like a foreigner.. i mean i just made up 5 or 6 other words.. so why not what i consume every morning?? Anywho went the first FIVE chapters in CAD.. whaat? That was craziness... not done.. easy class but moving hella fast for being an easy class.. Who knows.. 'maybe its just me and im venting'
Haha.. then 2nd block.. we had these surveys right.. and 4 of us put as the ONE thing we would change about class : "Dont pick on brendan". so about 15 minutes left in class fairbairn takes him outside and is all concerned about what hes thinkin.. AHHH AHAHAHAHAH hilarious stuff. Brendan so loved us for it.. :) *eyeroll*
apcompsci was boring. installing programs.. but we get whatever lunch we desire. so thats cool beans.. um 4th was calc.. complicated stuff but its still somewhat comprehendable so i think we'll be ok.. definately no time wasted in there. But i always thought its nicer in math to be learning new things than reviewing simple equalities or something b4 you get heavy. just So annoying to get 10 sheets and waste 2 weeks on nothings.. i feel like im wasting my life away .. no wonder ur fricken 18 by the time u get out of highschool.. were babied so much they have to wait that long..
i got a milky way and nutrigrain after school beans.. o yes. other than that nothing special.. backpack weight has been minimal and homework right along with that. its making my life seem much less stressed.. and you know im loving it.. but the first madeup line on each of these is honestly reflecting how i feel at the instant.. im scared something is just gonna smack me in the face.. and i'll be latching on to nothing while be stretched infinitely... hopeful that just a paranoid thing since the rest of my life is going so well that i have nothing to fear .. from it.. I can only hope so darling - chudds
Feb 3 04
fabrication of this kind of destruction is on the interior of monarchies and your hateful tude of an unchasteful soul
So beans, No work today.. Nicole is sick so i sat around and did my homework for a change. ran some errands and organized. Farm fresh was bleh.. saw Tilly at walmart tho .. thats always a nice smile.. dont see how some people hate her. u must just be a bad person if u got her to be hateful with you..
Winter cel was eh and bleh, nothing compared to my small group last year.. i dont think anything will come close.. unless i really find something i didnt know i had deep within me.. like before.. that was a surprise and golly was it healthy.. Its a good place.. just not what i wish was my priority that weekend.
Exams have past, dont have a clue what i got on most of them.. but thats okay. New classes are ap comp sci, ap calc bc, cdad, and the usual advamstud. not QUITE as easy as i anticipated.. but hey i'll take it. it'll be a fun demise to the best school year of my life.. no thanks.. to this school tho.. :)
Off to go draw for once! this should be fun.. havent done sketchbooking like i used to ever since i ran into this girl named nicole.. so im just now recovering from how much she amazes me i guess. hehe.. ok marisa i wont get any mushier than that punk.. go away and hug paul or something- chudds
JANUARY
Jan 23 04
A Patron for Demise
If you cut a lickity-split in half, is it so wrong to just avoid you? My sister is done with kemo, not sure how it all went. but either way i hope she makes out alright to be with us longer than nature wouldve allowed. first block.. my last day with faulks and jen.. and.. NO THIS CANT HAPPEN.. its the first bit of reality that these people are leaving.. soon. Golly thats gonna be tough.. prob tougher than my own graduation cause most of my pals are seniors.. anywho we discussed old times.. a few memories.. a few doritos. nice class. second block.. fairly gay.. but a lil humor.. and nothing really negative.. 3rd block was art.. thats a boring class but o well.. anxious to move on to new things.. the horizon isnt visible anymore in there.. for now.. and im loving it. fourth block.. i just sat and talked music and old houses with sarah.. and sorta went over chem stuff. but it was dry stuff.. then went to the sellars house for dinner.. watched movie.. played with lilluns.. good times. its nice being with a lively family.. things can get so drab around our house at times.. only when extended family comes does anything get loud or crazy or crowded.. i miss it...
- chudds
Jan 21 04
Scatter - Scitter. Boundless Radiance Come Round Again. Anti-Sc...
My sisters last kemo therapy treatment is coming up.. im so stoked for her. Shes such a huge inspiration.. and so strong. Insane. I HAVE NO NUTRIGRAIN APPLE CINNAMON BARS! AHHH! The pain and suffering is astronomical.. You know i was contemplating how large a number of possibilities of art a human mind could create given infinite time to do so.. Even on a computer.. every pixel has a chance of being 1 of 16 million colors. That number is technically infinite to us. But on a 2 pixel image.. the number of possibilities becomes 16000000 to the 16000000th power. A period is like 1 - 4 pixels tops... Our lives are truly what we make of them.
I love my nicole.. shes continually the biggest smile of my day.. and i miss it everyday in school. School.. bleh. I stabbed my thigh with a mechanical pencil today.. last time i did that was like 8 yrs old or so.. in my hand.. but golly.. i think i hit a nerve cuz i dropped my books and like couldnt walk.. anywho.. terrible stuff. drawing blood isnt fun. o yea i forgot to ask the juniors to help paint. o well still a tomorrow to try again. I need to get off here tho and Finish this bloody bird..Love reigns - chudds
Jan 20 04
Fork and Spoon of Common Consumer; Scatter - Displace - And Return Again to Common Eye
Yea yea, the new ams are rocking out.. and Im sitting here diddling with trees and pastels. Yuck and messy and bleh. Regardless I am getting confident that those art projects will get done in time. And its a whole ten minutes til i get to go see my darling sunshine. So its all gravy. Some random guy.. like belonging to the Senate and whatnot, took us to dinner. Nice, but boring and time consuming. THREE MORE DAYS OF CALCULUS AND CHEMISTRY! Can you say yahoo you suck chudds?! I cant wait for computer classes. They better be as slack as im suspecting. I'll need clarity of mind to keep the grades up. Anything hurting them will get blamed on time spent with relationship. And thats never cool. Often times its the biggest positive, uplifter of my day. How could that possibly be the largest culprit? I have nothing more intellectual to state. I miss sketching regularly like I started to in December. That was quite a stress reliever. But I guess in other senses Ive found quite a many things since then to do the same thing. I just need to find a reason to sketch again. Theres a million. Its just time management at its worse.. like.. now. Piece and louve - chudds
Jan 19 04
Memories created and decayed. Triggers of chance occurences unite them for rejuvial measures.
Being the Kings birthday and all, my homebody finally got the chance to sleep in. Woke up and did my homework and went to work at 4. Karl nearly lost his life from some whacko lady who hit him with her car. Ha.. sucks for that kid. I messed a heelclicker on the dog food aisle and slightly pulled my hamstring. That wasnt pretty..but the next two were successful (just not as high and dangerous.) After closing up shop there i treated myself to a box of bbg wings and a gush of liquidy volcano. That drink was so old that it was covered in dust when i bought it. I felt real bad for those guys. They were just sitting on the bottom shelf screaming Buy Us!.. so yea. Impulse buy.. im such a naughty money conservatist. Anywho i need to go do some pastel spreading on my artwork before bed time - peace and love - chuddddayo
2003 - V5 Entries
NOVEMBER
Nov 25 03
One of my two days off work this week. Joy. Tis kinda sad though that I find some excuse to go buy something when im not working. I think i seriously miss them. So many of them are my best pals here and like my family.. atleast half of my social life i assume. Try to do my calculus homework for once and I run out of notebook paper. figures. genius chudd. lets keep 2 sheets on stock. what if it was an emergency. and u needed a shitload. u wouldve been screwed punk. what were u thinking. shut up.
got some speech shindig coming up on the first of december. should be kinda fun. im hoping i find some motivation to practice it this weekend and make a voice for myself when im up there. so many ppl dont know me. and i think my philosophy for december is gonna make ppl wanna know me and not just approaching people all the time. i mean.. theres a balance.. i just dont do enough of the .. well balancing. Chudds likes dealing with extremists and hysteria.. not balancing and moderation.. crazy monk ideaology.
Starting my piece in art. If anyone really cares what im up to u can go here. Chem is gay and thats all I have for it. 80% chance chudds does the ultimate page and this page redesign soon.. like on the break. or not. whatever bick. piece - chudds loves ya
Nov 19 03
So. two days after my birthday. My sole physical birthday present was a long tutorial DVD by Feng Zhu.. who is one of the greatest concept artists living. I watched the first 40 minutes and i am very stoked. Anywho.. marisa im glad to know that your mutual on accepting our marriage as highly devoted to sexual activity. You dont know how excited I am. hahahaha. I'll play some more feud with you another day. I get tired easily of you kicking my butt. Anywho in art class the teacher is making us do this madly insanely stupid assignment. It involves watercolors.. which are sissy sissy.. and a bunch of tracing leaves. Its just a pile of wet messy delicate shit. I hate it entirely. I am however super anxious to get chugging on my first concentration piece. Should be exciting. But not starting for a few more days. AP chem was beginning to get obsessively stupid with mr deer not even putting a correct answer to some of his test questions. and openly admitting two days later in class (today) that he doesnt really know what half the symbols in this given equation mean. What an idiot. atleast know what your going to teach. Dont bring up something that you arent even sure of yourself. If you confuse people in the first place then it will just make us royally lost otherwise. Ugh! but i did manage to get a 100 on that test. and many ppl did much better than they were expecting. So either he rigged it to make himself look good or went super easy and 6 on us. Calculus is boring. eng is too big to be interesting. i would be loving it if i just had 10 kids in my class. Regardless i need sleep and tonight is one where i can catch up. So i'll let you back to your life now Marisa... i think its more likely someone from your school reads this than mine. eh. unless i decide to make this better and .. etc. shut up ryan. no one cares u fucking pansy punk. go away. whatever. later kids. love you all.. piece - chudds.
Nov 11 03
And 6. Reading William Wilson.. by Poe.. what joy. I guess im deciding that its just some schizophrenic form of himself.. or maybe it really is quite a coincidence.. or maybe its all just a moral to the way that life works. that someone is always there to go one step farther and to push ur face in the pile of purple gorilla shit. Art teacher is annoying as hell. but regardless if i execute these projects i have in my mind tormenting me then i will be highly pleased and motivated.. i mean.. whew.. anywho. Comprised my birthday wish and anxious to get some new materials and supplies and such. Very disappointed in my shyness today but im by no means destroyed.. everday for the next two weeks is fair play to redeem what ive been wanting to do for the past few.. so wish me luck. damn you chudds. shut up punk. Got some NAHS tmrw.. working on play stuff. Thats gonna be cool beans.. or maybe not.. depends on the level of lesbian rage.. Im gonna go do these sentences for Brooks.. piece kids. love ya. the site will get a overdue revamp soon enough - chudds
Nov 10 03
7 days til my bday. Figured id make Marisa happy and update this for a change. I love talking to u on the phone btw. sorry that kaleigh happened to exist for a change. so i had to.. well i better not say the priority word or i'll get chewed out. :) Picking my concentration in art. I think its gonna be Hysteria orTension .. some people say thats dark and stuff but whatever. hysteria can be any emotion pushed to the extreme .. including happiness or whatever.. So there it is. Um Chemistry is getting harder and harder.. but its like not hard. he just sucks at teaching and thats all there is. English is steadily boring.. but i guess the fact that my social life in there is near 0 that it may help me a bit on focus.. :) Calculus.. god i cant wait to change seats.. as long as it isnt next to loud mouth richard then we're all good. Work is dcent.. got the schedule i want and stuff.. need to get cracking on a birthday list and eng hw tho.. so piece. love ya kids. and for marisa.. the only person who will read this... just think shaving accident! love ya kiddo! later - chudds
OCTOBER
Oct 23 03
Getting really bored with life. Work is becoming a blur or repitition just like school now that some people arent so admired anymore. ;) art is goin.. going... and work is getting in the fucking way. ugh. im beginning to hate having to do it. goddamn stalker. go away.. i need a new phone card.. and some music.. and a life.. a large taiwanese gorilla... painted in grape jelly.. and we'll call it Alfredia. And then dance around it in a ritua... nevermind. The whole dancing idea is odd Chudds. Shut up. Its too late chudd. ho.. brb back. like u cared. hmm mt dew.. is sinful. i need to stop drinking colors and shit and just do it now instead of waiting til my braces are off.. or not. Blahity Blahity Blah.. i have calc and stuff to do. I need some free time and not marisa-yelling-at-me-to-update time. even tho i love her to death. dont roll your eyes kid. u know it. lol. piece - chudds
Oct 15 03
Hey Kids. Slacking off. Totally zoned into school and all. but hopefully repetition will resume.. and i can get into this. i so need to. school is so repetitive and locked in.. and o well i dunno wanna go on about what ive been to otherwise. hopefully i can just keep this up. yesterday i got my official plastic license. that was nice to go to the court and all and the whole law.. but seriously i think it was a waste of time and trouble to do all that for only being there like 5 minutes. Then i went and got a flu shot. those are so gay. i hate my parents when they make me do crap like that.. it numbsmy whole shoulder.
starting self portraits in art.. and other classes are just their normal selves. so yippykiyay im bored as hell of course :) ...ashley jo my love and prayers are with ya kiddo. hope ya figure out whats goin on soon.. Chudds adores you especially when your a happy kid.. so hope ya get reason to cheer up. Take care kids - Chudds loves ya - Peace
SEPTEMBER
Sep 22 03
Hello. now that were all settled in from this bloody hurricane. i guess i mine as well atleast write hear to recall some things. the past few days have been boring with no school. lots of work.. that isnt all bad but its also work.. and it was hellish the first couple days after the storm. i thiiink either i got some weird rash... some funky bites.. or more likely poision ivy or something similar to it... it spreads so .. bleh bleh. not cool.. if it gets bad then i cant work! ahh! but um anywho. Must finish my art tmrw and do other hw for calc... then what else .. a few chem questions ... open an account.. clean car..lots of neat stuff. I wish kalers would email me back. evenif she has nothing enlightening or thought provoking to say.. nothing .. wait chudds dont hurt urself.. yea. O yes, and Chudd, your not nervous at all. Peace - Chudds
Sep 13 03
Hmm one sec theres something stuck in my teeth.. alrighty... those special dark with almond nuggets are quite exceptional but i could deal without the almonds stuckability in braces. stop making words chudds. they arent laughing. shut up. Hmm yea my dad got some fancy router that allows him to go wireless internet within the house , on his laptops.. so thats cool.. but anywho the big part was my newER comp.. its reallly just my dads and all but hey .. hmm its nicer and stuff .. faster. I cleaned out my prizm... the lovely interior was filthy as shit.. but its sparkly now and i got a new cd for it. coldplay. excellent stuff. and new floor mats.. gonna clean the outside next then hell i duno. theres not a whole lot to do to it i guess. gotta work tmrw .. fun kid. anywho im anxious to do something and not sit here and ramble to a text editor. peace kids - chudds loves ya.
Sep 9 03
Yeah... it has been a while. Gramma was in the emergency room today but it doesnt appear to be a long term thing .. yeah. Im back into MxPx.. im not sure if thats good or bad. but hey i guess i shouldnt care about their rep and what people say. i dig it. Art.. i just wish i had time to work on it out of class. Got work tmrw and thursday. What a thrill. Hm.. Putting tags on my car and whatever. plates i mean. so its legal and stuff. :) O no matter how hard you try, you cant stop us now. RATM is addictive. go away. you sped chudds. Haha thers so many bva words that i can use down here and people are just like airhead lost as like wth did you just say. Now they can see how i felt when i moved there. not that its some vindication .. nor.. do they.. no one cares Chudds. You lost it. Reading the Crucible.. some weird shit man. Yea o well.. Um wish me luck .. to just have someone to love.. trial is so bittersweet .. shut up Chudds. Peace - Chudds
Sep 4 03
Hm. Tryin to be super quiet. Go to bed Chudds. No Thanks. Um listenin to some RATM and Beastie Boys.. yeah yeah. :) Hm. Yeah Chudds that chick gets more different everytime. Damn people and their fronts. Anywho more work tomorrow. Congrats to Nathan though he'll never read this. Wowsers. :) only you know what your talking about, Chudds, they aren't following you. Shut the fuck up. Um art class was okay. Anxious to screw up this piece. haha. O well. the big question is media.. hmm hmm.. I guess im 80 percent leaning towards graphite with color pencil accents.. that would be fun .. Yeah I see it now. Thats how its going down. I would just die to get a 4 on the AP art exam boooger test thingamajig. Ya know. That would be veddy nice. Lots of shitty homework and I gotta work 4-8 tomorrow so Chudds is going to bedders. Peace - Chudds
Sep 2 03
Yeah. Personality changes left and right whatever. Isnt that life. Were all a bunch of paranoid schizophrenic kool kids. O yea.. thats right Chudds. You fucking idiot. Not really.. hmm why am I mad at Chudds.. not sure. So work is... *cough* lovely. Breaks ur back like something else. But it.. has its benefits. Shut up Chudds. Hm calc went slower then i expected. Could be much fun considering whose in it. And my pals timmy and kelley are there. so its all good. So far in adv american studies ive been thuroughly ignored. Hehe. O well. Chudds your a loser. Art was super nice and small. Im stoked for sure. Chemistry is hell. But thats life. Ive heard worse.. so no whining from you Chudds, you bastard. Goodnight. Dont eat the hampster kite. Peace - Chudds
AUGUST
Aug 29 03
And the Chudditis rages on. Hm so today I woke up at like 9 i think. That was way not enough sleep. But i guess most of those in school probably had worse. Haha. Chudds laughs and points at you. Damn him. Gayass 'i go to school a week after you'. I know. So hmm. Went to open house at like noon. What a blast kid.. *cough* Anywho the teachers I did meet seemed very nice. And i have the same art teacher again. Whoopee. And the best thing is its during my lunch! That makes me so happy so I can escape once in a while. I'll write more about my o so lovely *cough* teachers later. So anywho my parents went out to some church cluster thing, religious related. So Chudds got the amazing privalege to take my gramma out on the town. Hehe, we went to the Silver Maple. Eh we survived and noone died so I guess Chudds is off the hooks. Hey kid. Go away, Unless you want to take this pinkeye off me.. You know, "In the land of the blind the man with one eye.. is king." Peace - Chudds
Aug 28 03
Woo. What I would do to get rid of this stupid eye infection. Or Chudditis as I now proclaim it. Er anywho. I watched here and there of the VMA's and im sure i'll see it 20 more times.. I didn't do a whole lot today. Hm.. thought of a lotta things I wouldve added but who the hell remembers now. I got the 2004 catalog for Ringling School of Art and Design. Which just looking at was a reinspiration to draw again. It also made me unsure of what I want to major in. I was just jawdropped at some of the stuff in their. I suddenly have that giddy 'lets go paint darling' vibe again. O Sofie! Peace - Chudds
Aug 27 03
Well the interview .. went well. Im essentially hired atleast even though my orientation and paper filling outing ain't til Saturday. So they said i took the personality test... too personally. *cough* Does that not seem weird to yins? How bout you Chudds? What the hell were they thinking? I bet subconciously they were thinking that it sounded really dumb. But whatever. Its all fine and dandy and everything went just dandy. So i redid the personality test and took it less persona.. i mean on a working basis. I did "much better". So go pat Chudds on the back... finally. Apparently Chudds now has a unique form of pinkeye. Go figure. Apparently sty's arent sposed to spread. But it doesnt act like pinkeye.. or conjunctivitis except for the fact that it moves back and forth. Anywho first time i went to a doc in over a year(since before Chudds moved here) so it was a new guy. He reminded me of Patch's roommate ( the brainy one ) on Patch Adams. But he was good... he was just impressed with Chudds' skill to acquire and make up new viruses. So, then I had a snickers bar and a dew. Went out to ultimate. We had like 17 or so show up together so that was nice and okay. It occured to me I have a highly contagious pinkeye infection. That spreads by bacteria. And here Im sharing the love with 16 other folk. Idiot. I Dont think I touched my eyes tho with my bare hands. Maybe once but that was in the beginning and that frisbee was slick with handsweat and thick moisture from the grass. So Chudds says good luck to those basta.. i mean folks. Welpers I may be back later or not. I think Chudds ruined another shirt cuz of excess prespiration. Trust me all the febreeze in the world cant help him.. Peace - Chudds
Aug 27 03
Hm. Well my interview is in less than an hour. Boy o boy. I guess im nervous and will be terrible when the time comes. I think i'll survive though. Thanks to Kay and Shawna for signing the gbook... even though i havent put Kays up yet. Thats ok. She'll be out being crazy with her friends til 1 tmrw morning anywayz :) Ugh its so loud in here. I guess its kinda messed up/sad when the amazingly annoying sound of the vacuum makes you sick to your stomach. Or maybe its just that gayass hot dog i had for lunch. O the shit that goes in those things. Im off. Peace - Chudds
Aug 26 03
Welpers first off is the promos. The About Chudds page linked above is getting rapidly bigger. I am open to any suggestions on how to improve it or a new category. As far as life goes. I had an excellent meatball dinner tonight. Tomorrow at 1:30 I have my first interview at Farm Fresh which will very likely lead to being hired there. Well anywho theres like 6 more days left of freedom. Ah I cant wait to meet some new people. Hopefully i'll get to go out another night or two before all that happens. Either way.. hmm considering a few things about the site. I'll probably forget. I was thinking about doing like a Chronicles update eventually. Little stories i think up while mowing or things that occur during work. O , yea this is gonna be fun kid. I like that idea Chudds. You know what I miss, the smell of pennies in the morning at the busstop. The queer thing is.. theres no fucking reason for it ever to smell like pennies that bad, that strong, that early in the morning unless you were rolling in them. Wheres the fun in that. Id rather roll in half dollars if i was going to roll in hard currency. Thats just idiotic Chudds. Wth are you thinking? Run. Peace - Chudds
Aug 26 03
O were gonna have fun kid. Pics and Pals pages are both up. Go figure my no life status made that happen quick fast and in a hurry. So. I sorted a gazillion coins looking for special quarters with my mom.. to no avail. Had some choc choc bday cake and ice cream too...And paid a visit to the local supermarket and got some Swedish Fish . so nanner. Chudds is gonna go run off and do something now. Later Peace - Chudds
Aug 26 03
Hi Kids. Let's see. Chudd's gonna try and get some of the pages setup today. Maybe all of them by tonight. Then start writing in this piece again. Some of the buttons/pictures are having a hard time loading on every page view. so if your having difficulties and seeing red x's then either right click and press show picture or refresh the page. Anywho im off to go make the pages click. Checkai Peace - Chudds
Aug 26 03
Just finding my old self again so I can apply my new ways and hopefully make something... somewhere meaningful. Wow that was terribly deep, Chudds, for 2 am.. hm. Anywho. So theres a pop-up get over it Chudds. Sorry kids.. I'll think of what i want on here besides a blog later. Right now its off to bed kids. Peace - Chudds
